38 Week Update

I had my 38 week check up this afternoon. I haven't changed since last week. I'm still effaced 50% and dilated to 1 cm. The doctor said I have until Wednesday to have this baby and then the window for having him is closed until she returns from her trip on Sunday, Oct. 25th. She said she has already told the nurses at the hospital that if I come in while she is gone they're not to treat me :-) She said she'd be back by supper time on Sunday so anytime after that is fine. I think Wayne was a little disappointed that Case isn't coming this week (unless there are a lot of changes in the next couple of days).

Since I haven't dilated anymore she doesn't think inducing me is necessary. She thinks I'll make it until she gets back. I'm scheduled to see her again on Monday, Oct. 26 and she said at that appointment we'll need to schedule a date for an induction. She is on call next weekend and Marlena (MY nurse) works on the weekends so if I don't go on my own next week we may be looking at a Halloween induction. I would love to be surrounded by MY nurse and MY doctor when Case is born (I'm not sure they know that they belong to me but they do). She said she would only let me go past my due date if that is what I chose, at which point she would hook me up to the ETS (contraction machine) and do another ultrasound to check my fluid. She said she'd rather I not go past my due date though because the risk of stillbirth goes up after 40 weeks. I'm not looking to increase those odds so we're having this baby Halloween or before.

I felt a little wave of panic when I thought of carrying him for 2 more weeks. I don't want to risk losing him but I also want to make sure he is "done". I feel like at this point in the pregnancy there is a fine line and I'm not sure on which side of it I should be standing. I am just going to continue to pray that God will watch over Case and keep him growing healthy. My trust will continue to be in Him and although worry sometimes enters my mind, I will do my best to keep a "vertical" focus. I will continue to remind myself that my body, nor Case, nor my doctor are in control. Control belongs to God and I'm grateful it does.

With a Halloween due date I get a lot of comments. Some think it's fun that he's due on Halloween, others, usually those that don't celebrate Halloween, seem to cringe a bit and say something like "maybe he'll come before or after the 31st," to which I say, "I don't care when he is born as long as he is healthy." It is my opinion that Halloween is just another day on the calendar. So kids dress up and get candy...I'm not sure I understand the harm in that. Yes I know there are some that look at this as the "Devil's Holiday" but I think that is only if you chose to celebrate it that way. I can tell you that I've enjoyed Halloween since I was a child and never once have I found myself worshiping the devil on any of these occasions. I have found myself having lots of fun with friends and family and perhaps eaten WAY too much candy though. I think we have to keep things in perspective. It doesn't bother me that people don't celebrate Halloween. That is completely their choice and if something in their conscience tells them they shouldn't then its good that they follow that.