Tuesday, November 11, 2008

My Boys Around the World

The pictures from Carly in Australia were very touching (you can see these in an older post) but the newest pictures I got mean even more. Sara is a person I met on one of the online support groups. She is great. She lost her little Callia on September 30th of this year. Just 24 days after the boys...I wonder if Joshua and Caleb met her in Heaven. Anyway, she is currently living in Florida and went to Cocoa Cocoa Beach for Callia's original due date. While she was there she made a special gift for me and some of the other mommies. She put the boys' names in the sand. Sara also gave me an idea. I think I will see how many beaches I can get Joshua and Caleb's names written on. I will just see my boys all over the world. They will have traveled more than I have :-) Here are the pictures Sara sent me:

Aren't they beautiful? Thank you Sara for this beautiful gift and for thinking of my boys! You are a very special person!!!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Lessons and Reminders

After a doctor's appointment on Thursday, where I learned that our chances for trying to have babies again may be delayed for a while, I was kind of getting a "why me?" attitude. I've been praying about this and God has used His Providential Will to guide me to a few answers...perhaps not the quick fixes I was looking for but in the end is growth.

The first came when we attended a missions conference last night at church. There were a couple missionaries that spoke. They spoke about how your workplace can be your mission field. I had never thought about work as a mission field but I think it is a great way to think about it. It is our job to share God's Word. The thing that really spoke to me though was the need to pray passionately. It can be hard to do that when it is something you pray for over and over again but our prayers should really be passionate. This is something I'm working on. I want God to know that I am passionate about the situations, people, and supplication I am praying about.

God also led me to some notes I had taken during a sermon at church. Pastor Kottke is teaching from the book of Matthew right now. Matthew chapter 6:5-15 gives us a model for prayer. As he was talking about prayer he mentioned the need to pray for something and not give up just because you don't see results right away. The quote that he shared was "delays aren't denials". I don't remember if this was his quote or if he got it somewhere else but it stuck with me. The point is if my prayer is Biblical I can't just give up on it because I don't see the results I am asking for at the moment.

Finally there are two scriptures that I had previously highlighted in my Bible that I found again the other day. The first is Philippians 2:29 "For to you it has been granted for Christ's sake, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake." No matter what I am going through good or bad...it is all for God! The other scripture is James 1:2-3 "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance." This is a beautiful scripture that serves as a reminder to me that there is a reason for the trials I have encountered. I am growing and even though it hurts and I still get sad, I know there is a something better at the end. I know that each day I am growing closer to God. There is no relationship more important than this! So I will continue on through this trial, no matter how many speed bumps there are that slow me down, I will come out in the end closer to God than I was when I started.

Praise God!

Monday, November 3, 2008

Election 2008

Wayne and I were in the car yesterday when he brought up how differently he looks at things since we lost the boys. He always thought abortion was terrible but he now has a new perspective on just how terrible it really is. He mentioned that he wished he had made a video showing people how alive our boys were at just 8 weeks and 12 weeks gestation. How they were real babies from the moment they were conceived and how God knew them even before that.

Since I'm the one with the time, I decided I would attempt this for him. We want people to know how serious and real abortion is. Obama is not going to put an end to abortion and we have a HUGE problem with that. This is a problem above all others for us. God gave us a book on how He wants us to live our lives...it's called the Bible. Abortion goes against everything inside of it. I created this video to help get the word out about this and to let people know what they are voting for.

I know the election takes place tomorrow but we are hoping it will reach some before then and continue to helps others understand abortion for what it is...murder.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Semi-Permanent Grave Marker

We almost finalized the boys' headstone with a company in Lebanon. Wayne had a meeting scheduled to finalize the paperwork last Thursday, until she called 2 hours before to up the price for the second time. I mean really...how many times can you say, "I'm sorry, I made a mistake the price is really..."? I just don't get it. If you set the price and it is wrong well, too bad. Needless to say I was kind of ticked. I was hoping to get the foundation poured before winter.

So I went another route...you can truly buy anything online! I found a company online and I spoke to one of the owners about what we were wanting. They make very creative stones and I really liked her. She told me that the Lebanon lady was totally ripping us off. Her verbal quote, just from hearing what was on the stone we had chosen was about $1500 cheaper than the original quote the Lebanon lady gave us, and that was before she uped the price two times. The biggest problem is with ordering online is that you have to arrange for the foundation on your own...they won't do it for you. After talking to her though and realizing how easy it is, we think we are going to save a lot of money and just do it ourselves. We are learning so much through all of this...mostly stuff we didn't want to learn but learning nonetheless.

In the meantime, I finished painting the boys' cross so that they have something there until we get one purchased. Here are some pictures of it...

Tina (Wayne's mom) and Suzi (Wayne's sister) went to see the boys' last week. They brought them some new flowers and a couple toys (at least I am assuming it was them:-). Here is a picture of the flowers...
Thanks for visiting them and for the special gifts!!!

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Names in the Sand

There are people in this world that do things for other people just to be kind. The Dudley family are some of those people. Carly and Sam Dudley lost their son Christian. After that Carly had a dream that led her into the ministry that she does today. Anyone who has lost a child can request to have their name written in the sand on a beautiful beach on the other side of the world, in Australia.

I read about this opportunity on one of the support forums that I frequent. I immediately requested to see Joshua and Caleb's names in the sand. I requested it on Tuesday and she posted it this morning. Here is the gift she gave us...
I am so grateful to Carly and her family for this! You can see her blog and all the other children's names in the sand on her blog at http://namesinthesand.blogspot.com/. They are in the process of beginning a foundation that will help support families grieving the loss of a child. You can donate to their foundation on their blog.

Thank you Dudley family for this beautiful gift!


We had our usual Halloween celebration. We went to Mom and Dad's to take the kids trick-or-treating. Bethany, her friend Evyn, Damon, Myles, and Addyson were there. While it can sometimes be difficult to be doing some of the things that I had planned to do with a big pregnant belly, we still had a lot of fun. It worries me sometimes, that I am not going to enjoy some of things I used to enjoy. I don't seem to look forward to things as much right now but I still find myself enjoying it once I am there. I continue to heal a little more each day so I am sure I will soon be back to counting down the days to the next fun activity.

It didn't hurt that the kids were as usual very cute!!!
You can see more pictures of our Halloween escapades here. Thanks to everyone there for a fun evening!!!