Dear Joshua and Caleb,
Merry Christmas boys! I can remember when I first found out I was expecting you Christmas was one of the first things I thought of. I just remember thinking that I couldn't wait for this Christmas. It was going to be so much different from any other. You were to be the first grandkids on my side of the family and everyone was so excited to meet you. I thought I would either have two very small boys by Christmas or one very large belly. Either way I was ecstatic! Instead I'm just missing you today.
Boys I know that you are having the most amazing Christmas in Heaven. I can't even imagine how wonderful it must be to celebrate with Jesus! I want you to know that even though I'm sad that I don't get to hold you today, I'm so happy for you. With as beautiful as the lights and sounds of Christmas are here, I know you are surrounded with a place so much more beautiful. I praise God everyday because I know you are safe and happy. I pray that one day I will be spending eternity right next to you as we look in awe at our Savior.
Your Grandma and Grandpa gave me a special gift today to help us remember you each Christmas. Grandma is handing down her train set to Daddy and I. She wanted to give us something special to set out each Christmas. It meant so much to me that they remembered you today. They miss you and love you so much.
Boys I hope that you know how much your daddy and I love you too. I can't even put it into words. You are a piece of us that will be missing until the day we are reunited in Heaven.
Merry Christmas boys!
With all my love,
Mommy
This blog follows our family through a journey of healing and faith after the loss of our twin boys, Joshua and Caleb, at 21 weeks gestation. And watch us as we grow with the birth of three more boys, Case, Ty, and Knox.
1 comment:
Bev,
I remember mentioning to mom that you had not updated the blog in a while and she told me that you had. I read all the December posts today, and I prayed for you and Wayne and the boys at church today. I wasn't particularly sad, but I was overwhelmed with some emotions and started crying for no apparent reason. I was actively praying and trying not to let anyone see my tears when I realized that I felt as if God was showing me Joshua and Caleb and how happy they are. Not a lot of people know that I lost two children to miscarriage....clearly not at the stage of pregnancy that you were....but nevertheless, it is still painful. There is much I would like to tell you about how your journey has been for me, and perhaps someday we can have that conversation. For now, just know that you and Wayne are in my prayers every day and I am here for the both of you at any time. BTW, I think your learning to sew will reward you in so many ways in the future, ways that you may not be able to comprehend at this time, but I think its one of God's ways of giving you a goal that could turn into a true blessing for other's who will experience personal tragedy in their lives also.
love,
aunt julie
Post a Comment