Thursday, May 14, 2009


Fear.  I don't know how to describe it with this pregnancy.  By the Grace of God, it doesn't consume me every minute of every day but there are moments where it takes my breath away.  Before the last appointment on Wednesday, May 13th, I would say that fear had completely taken over.  Two days prior to the appointment I had got the lovely stomach flu; or at least that's my best guess of what it was.  I wasn't able to eat much on Monday and I came home that evening and stayed in bed from the time I walked in the door until late in the day on Tuesday...that is with the exception of frequent bathroom visits.  I don't know if that is where the worry came from but I was sure that we were going to get bad news when we went for our ultrasound the following day.  I managed to go to work that morning but that fear was constantly in the back of my head.  Something just kept telling me that this was it.  I was a mess.  Wayne knew how I was feeling and I think I got him pretty worried too.  

When we got to the ultrasound, I lost it when we saw that beautiful little heart beating away.  The baby looked perfect as she has at every appointment before that one.  It took everything I had not to just sit there in tears for a few minutes.  I was so relieved and grateful for that little baby moving around on that screen.   Even sitting in the waiting room before I went back to see the doctor, after the ultrasound, I was still having trouble holding it together.  

 Dot was measuring 15 weeks 4 days (I'm 15 weeks 1 day so she's ahead!!!), with a heartbeat of 167 bpm.  Here are the pictures from this visit...

Now for the fun part...
While we were having the ultrasound, we asked Brandi to see if she could tell what we were having.  We didn't want to know right then though.  We are getting ready to leave for vacation with my parents, my brother, and his wife on Friday so we wanted to make this news part of our trip.  We asked her to put the information in an envelope and we plan to open it on vacation.  She was able to tell what the baby is so so stay tuned for the envelope details :-)  

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