Dot Updates

We've seen Dot two more times since my last update. Both times she (no...I don't know for sure that its a she yet...it just easier than "he or she"and slightly more personable than "it") looked great. Here are pictures from our appointment on April 14th, 2009:

At this appointment Dot was measuring 11weeks 3 days and her heartrate was 158 BPM.

We had another appointment on April 24th, 2009, which also happened to be my 30th birthday. I struggled with whether or not to make this appointment. I wonder if I'm not being faithful by having all these appointments but then I know there is the other side that says that God gives us resources for a reason. In the end I decided it was my birthday and all I wanted was to hear Dot's little heart just beating away. I got to do that with Wayne and my mom by my side, which only added to my joy.

When we told mom the night before that we had this appointment she didn't say anything but the look on her face was screaming "PLEASE LET ME GO!!!!" I have a hard time doing that because she was there with me the first time I got bad news, when we lost our first baby to an early miscarriage. It broke my heart that she had to see it and I didn't want her to ever have to go through that again so I guess I feel like I'm protecting her (I do a lot of thinking I'm protecting people these days) instead I'm just stealing these priceless moments she could be enjoying. So we let her come but we made her stay in the waiting room until we saw that everything was fine. Then she got to come back and she her perfect little grandbaby just a squirming away. As usual our ultrasound technician was very patient with us.  Here are Pictures of Dot at 12 weeks 3 days:

Working

Why is it that the minute you go back to work it seems like you don't have time to do anything anymore.  I so much enjoyed having the time off to do the things I never got to do before.  At least when I was teaching I knew there was an end or a break to look forward to.  A point where you got to start over with a new group.  With this "normal person" job there is none of that.

I feel like I'm treading water.  I haven't had the time to update my blog, to make cards, to keep up with all the amazing moms on the support group boards, and most difficult is keeping up my relationship with God.  I feel like I squeeze my daily Bible readings in at the end of each day, not to mention the fact that I'm three days behind.  

The weekends seem to come and go with no time or motivation to get these things done.  That is what I hate about working full-time.  Then there is another part of me that is just thankful. I'm thankful that God has always provided for Wayne and I.  I have so many friends and friends of friends that have lost their jobs in this less-than-stellar-economy and it serves an instant reminder of how blessed I am to have this job.  

So how is the new job, you may be wondering.  Well that's a difficult answer to give.  It is just SO different than anything I've ever done.  I'm working with so many adults and I have to say that I'm just not used to that.  I went from sharing a classroom with 27 little people to sharing a tiny cube with at least 3 other adults.  I choose the classroom, no offense if anyone from work should ever find this:-)  I am just used to having more space and while I shared it with so many other children, it was still mine and I had authority over the space...does that sound slightly tyrantish of me???  Ok I admit it, I liked being in charge of my space.  But with that charge came A LOT of stress.  It was full of working late and bags of work that went home with me (no they didn't always make it into the house but I always carried them back and forth).  I guess my answer comes down to this... there are things about teaching that I truly miss, mainly being surrounded by the overall innocence of children, and there are things I don't' miss, namely the stress.  There are things I equally don't love about this job, like the lack of innocence from adults, but there are the things that I love too.  I LOVE that I don't have to think about what to put on in the morning because I pretty much wear two pair of scrubs all week and jeans on Fridays.  I LOVE that I can go to the bathroom anytime I want and I SO enjoy the "grown-up" lunches, although these aren't helping the whole weight issue; and at times I feel a little guilty because I pack Wayne's lunch every day yet I end up going out to eat most days.  That might not be fair but of course he never complains.  I also have to say that the stress of this job is NO WHERE near teaching (at least at this point) and I love that.  I've got a lot to learn but I'm enjoying it most days in this new pharmaceutical world.