The Envelope Please

It is time to share the contents of the envelope.  We opened it on our first night of vacation at a restaurant called Marlin Monroe's.  We all guessed what it was before we opened it and oddly enough all the guys said it was a boy and all the ladies said it was a girl.  

The envelope please...

Isn't Brandi, our ultrasound technician, great?!?!  This is what was inside the envelope.  I love her!  She makes everything so much fun!!!  Wayne wanted another boy and I just totally didn't care one way or another.  I think grandma was a little disappointed that her visions of cute pink dresses quickly became visions of mud and worms but she's happy too.  It was so much fun to find out this way.  The suspense was hilarious, especially with mom and Wayne.  So I guess we can't call it she or Dot anymore so meet Dotson (cleverly named by my dad).  We don't have any final names picked out but Dotson will do for now, at least it shouldn't give him a complex :-)  

Vacation

We left for Georgia on Friday, May 15th.  Wayne, my parents, and I drove and my brother and sister-in-law were flying.  We left right after work and stopped in Chattanooga, TN.  I think the travel the first night bothered me more than any other day.  I worried about being in the car too long or if we hit a big bump...this got better...I had PLENTY of time to get better at it.  The following day we made it to Savannah, Georgia.  We stayed there until we could pick Ben and Court up at the airport then we went to visit some family.  From there we headed to our final destination, Tybee Island, Georgia.  We stayed in the "Key Lime Parrot" cottage.  I'm sure to most it is way to colorful but it was perfect for me...I love a bright house.  Now it rained most of the way from home to Georgia and for the most part it never stopped while we were there.  Not to mention the fact that it was about 55 or 60 degrees for the first few days.  We definitely didn't pack for the correct weather.  The funny part is that when we talked to everyone back in Indy they told us how beautiful it was... 80 and sunny.  UGHHH!  We went to Georgia for that weather.  One traveler that we met on a trolley in Savannah said "hey, a bad day of vacation is still better than a good day at work".  I totally agree!!!!  We had a great time despite the weather.  We played lots of games, still managed to get to the beach between rainstorms, and ate at some great restaurants.  Here's a link to pictures from the trip. 

Oh yeah...we only made it to the first night of vacation before they made me open the envelope...see next post for the results....American Idol finale move over... this is way more suspenseful:-)

The Taunting

The contents of the envelope are driving my husband and my mom completely crazy.  Now I was the type of kid that very carefully opened the edges of my Christmas presents and sealed them back up just because I couldn't wait to open them.  I got more in more sophisticated in my methods...my parents probably thought I stopped this at some point but I didn't.  I'm very impatient when it comes to surprises, or at least I used to be.  Maybe that's one of the things that changed in me when we lost Joshua and Caleb, I don't know.  At any rate the envelope didn't bother me at all.  Now it is fun to watch them be taunted by it but I have no problem not opening it.  I guess for me I truly don't care what we are having.  If it wasn't for the planning aspect, I wouldn't have a problem waiting until the baby is here to find out but I am a planner.  Wayne is now convinced it's a boy and my mom is completely convinced it is a girl.  The "friendly" bantar is quite entertaining.  They are both constantly asking me if I have the envelope.  Well of course I do...I know I can't leave it lay around either of them:-)  

Fear

Fear.  I don't know how to describe it with this pregnancy.  By the Grace of God, it doesn't consume me every minute of every day but there are moments where it takes my breath away.  Before the last appointment on Wednesday, May 13th, I would say that fear had completely taken over.  Two days prior to the appointment I had got the lovely stomach flu; or at least that's my best guess of what it was.  I wasn't able to eat much on Monday and I came home that evening and stayed in bed from the time I walked in the door until late in the day on Tuesday...that is with the exception of frequent bathroom visits.  I don't know if that is where the worry came from but I was sure that we were going to get bad news when we went for our ultrasound the following day.  I managed to go to work that morning but that fear was constantly in the back of my head.  Something just kept telling me that this was it.  I was a mess.  Wayne knew how I was feeling and I think I got him pretty worried too.  

When we got to the ultrasound, I lost it when we saw that beautiful little heart beating away.  The baby looked perfect as she has at every appointment before that one.  It took everything I had not to just sit there in tears for a few minutes.  I was so relieved and grateful for that little baby moving around on that screen.   Even sitting in the waiting room before I went back to see the doctor, after the ultrasound, I was still having trouble holding it together.  

 Dot was measuring 15 weeks 4 days (I'm 15 weeks 1 day so she's ahead!!!), with a heartbeat of 167 bpm.  Here are the pictures from this visit...

Now for the fun part...

While we were having the ultrasound, we asked Brandi to see if she could tell what we were having.  We didn't want to know right then though.  We are getting ready to leave for vacation with my parents, my brother, and his wife on Friday so we wanted to make this news part of our trip.  We asked her to put the information in an envelope and we plan to open it on vacation.  She was able to tell what the baby is so so stay tuned for the envelope details :-)  

Happy Mother's Day

The blessings that surround me today are beyond comprehension.  This whole weekend has just been another reminder of how wonderful our God is.  I have had wonderful fellowship, met new people, heard God's word, and today I get to be surrounded by my family.  God is just SO good!  

Today, like everyday, I miss my boys; but today especially because this is the day where traditional moms get to hold their babies and love their kids in person.  I don't have that luxury today.  I do have something even better though.  I know that my boys are living every moment surrounded by God's perfection in Heaven.  I get to live every second knowing that my boys are with our Creator who loves them even more than I do.  My boys don't want for anything.  Isn't that the goal of every mother, traditional or otherwise?  I am blessed to live with the complete confidence that my boys are safe in the arms of Jesus...To that I say PRAISE GOD!!!  

The other blessing I am surrounded with today is that Joshua and Caleb's little brother or sister is with me right now.  God has given me the opportunity to carry another of His children.  I pray that this baby is one I will get to hold in my arms next Mother's Day.  

In just a few minutes I will be headed to my mother's house to spend the day with some of the most amazing women I know.  I get to spend the day with my mother and both of my grandmothers.  What a blessing!  I know so many people don't have that option today.  My mother is such an amazing person and I pray that I get the opportunity to be half the mom she is someday.  She is completely supportive and through all the trials and bumps along the road, she has been by my side.  Both of my grandmothers are also amazing.  They have both set such an example for me and all the girls on both sides of my family.  Mom, Grandma, and Bubby, I wish you a very special Mother's Day this year!  Know that I love you and feel so blessed to have you in my life as an example to follow.  

I want to wish every mother a happy Mother's Day today.  Whether you are holding your children in your arms today or they've grown up and moved away.  Whether you're looking to Heaven to send them your love or with each day's prayers you're asking God for children to stand in awe of;  I pray that you are surrounded by love and blessings this Mother's Day.  

Wayne Says it's Time to Share

These are the flowers that Wayne sent to me at work last week.  Why?  Well you can imagine that was everyone's first question.  My birthday had past and our anniversary isn't until June.  I wasn't even sure who they were from (I assumed my husband but my parents do stuff like this too) and then figuring out why was a whole new question.   A group of us were on our way out to lunch when the receptionist stopped me to tell me that when I get back I have flowers to pick up.  Right then my co-workers knew about the flowers.  There was some speculation on who they were from and what they were for...I really just didn't know but I couldn't wait to get back and find out.  When we returned we took the flowers to my desk and opened them.  With my co-workers waiting paitently to hear who they were from and what they were for, I realized it was time to share.  I let each of them read the card...it made it easier than me actually sharing.  The card read "We made it throuh the first trimester!  I love you! -Wayne".  At that point our secret was out.  Now that I've shared it with most of my family and some of my friends (some are going to find out this way or I'll tell them soon) I figured it was probably time to share it with the rest of the world.  So, world, I'm pregnant!!!  

I hope no one has hurt feelings from not being told sooner for from finding out this way.  It is of course not my intention to hurt anyone.  I just have a very hard time telling people.  I don't know what scares me about that.  The news has been answered with nothing but wonderful feedback.  I think it just makes it so much more real and the more real it is the more I'm going to focus on it.  The more I focus on it the more I can worry.  I'm praying a lot about this and to be honest I've been so amazed at my lack of worry.  God has given me so much comfort.  I think I worried more when I first found out I was pregnant with the boys than I am now.  I'm not going to say I'm not scared because I am but it isn't consuming me like I thought it would.  I pray that gives hope to all you mommies to angels out there.  It just isn't as hard as I thought it was going to be.  My doctor has been amazing about letting us come in and have an ultrasound anytime we want to and that has eased my mind a lot because I've taken her up on that offer. We go in about every two weeks.  

Today I am 14 weeks and 1 day.  We've had several ultrasounds (all of which you can read about and see pictures of in past posts).  I've been blogging about it along the way but I held off on actually posting until I was ready for everyone to know.  I'm still not sure I'm ready but at the sametime it is such a blessing and I don't think blessings should be hidden.  I want everyone to know how wonderful God has been to us!  I do find it hard to tell people for some reason though. I don't want people to worry or to be sad if something terrible should happen again.  I want to protect everyone from that but I know I can't live in fear of what could happen.  I think I was really ready to wait until there was a baby screaming in the background before we told people but Wayne had other plans :-)  I was really grateful that he sent those flowers because, not only was it SUPER sweet, it made it easy to share it with people that I work with.  I wasn't sure what the reaction would be but they were all so wonderful to me about it.  I'm am blessed to be surrounded with people that really care about me.  

Now that our secret is out, I ask you for one favor.  Pray.  Please keep us in your prayers. Prayers for a healthy baby and for two parents that are surrounded by God's incomprehensible comfort and peace.  I am blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful people as we hop on and buckle our seatbelts for our next journey.